“The longest distance in the world is from your head to your heart” ~ Unknown
In the previous post, I talked about the best perspective we can have about change, and it is to see it as a process. After keeping in mind that change is a process, there is one more thing we need to remember. Before we want to do anything about our lives, whether it is to make a new habit or achieve a goal, be aware that it will be pointless until we reach this phase: a true, genuine and complete acceptance of ourselves.
Your best companion is you! Like it or not, you will be with you for the rest of your life. So, how you view yourself and the level of comfort you are feeling about yourself will greatly affect the process of change you wish to make.
We must have heard of stories where successful people and high achievers end up unhappy about their lives, no matter how productive they are or how many achievements they have made.
We are living in a strange era where we are being endlessly taught to want MORE, to have MORE and become MORE! More stuff, more awards, more profit, more possessions, more achievements, more roles, more popular, more attractive .. and this list goes on!
I know there are plenty of ‘how-to’ websites, blogs or articles to earn MORE or to become MORE popular or anything from the list above. The question is, do we REALLY need all these?
Growing in the Inside
Having more or becoming more is not the ultimate quest to have a good life, but we do need GROWTH to reach the fullness of life. What matters is what is growing in the inside. In contrast to what the marketing world requires, this growth can’t be measured by ‘numbers’.
Many of us know that life is hard and sometimes the only number that matters to us is ‘ONE’. ‘One’ more day we have survived when we could barely make it, not being able to think further than the very next day. Then the day after. Just one. One step at a time. Day by day. That’s more than enough for us in such a moment.
Many of us may have been through a difficult process in the past. Learning things the hard way. For some of us, we have made it and move past these difficult times. The rest of us may still struggle with particular issues. No matter where we are at these stages, if we want to be honest with ourselves, there is no such a thing as a quick fix.
Stop Fighting Yourself
Yes, we do want a better life, we want to become a better person. Live happier. There is nothing wrong with that, but if we want to find true, lasting joy, regardless of our circumstances, and regardless of how much we have or how much we lack, we have to begin right. Begin with learning to make peace with ourselves. Stop fighting yourself and making yourself an enemy by being too hard to yourself and not letting go of many painful things. Stop carrying that baggage. It’s not easy, I know.
As the saying I quoted above: it will be a long journey. We may have accepted things that have hurt us, at least we think so, but have we truly accepted them, deep down in our hearts?
I don’t think we can bury these things under tons of things to do to achieve more. Make friends with yourself and create a space in your heart to grow what you already have inside. THEN, you can add more elements to your life and not the other way around.
Please stay tuned as I am going to share more details in the next posts. These first two posts are more like introductory posts or an icebreaker for this blog.
Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts or feelings or any feedback on what I have shared in the comments.
Photo by Matheus Bertelli from Pexels